The reality of having a baby

November 15, 2019

 

If you're pregnant, congratulations! Here is a little light hearted humour for you to get a glimpse of what you can expect. Because people only tell you the good, not the bad or the ugly. If you've had a baby yourself, you may be able to relate with some of the following too.

 

Disclaimer: this wasn't written to scare or worry anyone. Remember, all labours and birth stories are different. No two people have the exact same experience and everyone handles it differently. Yours might be the total opposite to this. 

 

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#1 - You’ll get to a point at the end of pregnancy where you feel like you could easily be mistaken for a whale.

#2 - Waiting, waiting, lots and lots of waiting. They say they'll be back soon, but they don't come.

#3 - Labour and birth.. yes it hurts but women are made for this. Power through, it's so worth it.

#4 - Seeing and holding your baby for the first time is magical, you instantly forget what just happened.

#5 - After what you've just been though, you'd open your legs to anyone. Time for stitches!

#6 - Trying to latch a baby, not as easy as you think. Get ready for sore, bleeding nipples and frustration.

#7 - Sexy underwear! Disposable pants are not only really comfortable, but it saves on washing too.

#8 - Wanting to take a selfie with your newborn but realising you're looking uglier than ever before.

#9 - Must get that milk supply up! But feeling like a cow being milked constantly.

#10 - When you cuddle your baby, it doesn't matter about the pain and scars anymore.

#11 - Yes you're in pain, but when your baby is staring back at you, you really don't care.

#12 - Coming together and realising 'we made that'. You suddenly love each other more than ever before.

#13 - Seeing Daddy bond with his baby just melts your heart all over again.

#14 - Once reality hits, you also bond with your baby and realise just how much you love them.

#15 - Tiredness hits! You become a zombie robot, feed, change, burp, sleep and repeat.

#16 - Swollen feet isn't just during pregnancy, it turns out they balloon post birth too.

#17 - Finally it's time to take your baby home and adjust to your new lives together. Scary and exciting!

#18 - Sometimes complications happen during or after birth, so you may take them home as well. 

#19 - Introducing your fur baby to your new baby and hoping they'll accept them well. 

#20 - Get ready for the visits from both professionals and family. Oh there's so many.

#21 - Why is it when you're ready to eat, the baby is ready to eat? Get used to cold meals.

#22 - And drinks too. You'll need your caffeine fix, but you'll probably end up drinking it luke warm.

#23 - Wait for that first explosive poop! It'll take you by surprise, and they like to do it public too.

#24 - Poop = bath time. Bathing your baby for the first time is a scary experience. What if you drown them?

#25 - And they don't usually like it to begin with, so get ready for screaming. 

#26 - In fact, get ready for the screaming in general. Baby's like to cry a lot, just for the fun of it. 

#27 - Back to the feeding and pumping combo, and feeling like a human milk machine.

#28 - Nursing makes you hungry, so it becomes acceptable to eat a chocolate bar the size of the baby.

#29 - You soon learn to multi-task, eat, dinner, feed baby, stroke the cat and work.

#30 - A washing machine is a must. It never turns off. The washing pile gets higher and higher.

#31 - More multi-tasking, breastfeeding on the toilet. It's not only eating they don't let you do.